I’m not ready to make nice
I’m not ready to back down
I’m still mad as hell and
I don’t have time to go round and round and round
It’s too late to make it right
I probably wouldn’t if I could
Cause I’m mad as hell
Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should...
This has been my mantra and has encompassed what 2008 has been about. Amy is making peace with the demons in her life. That's what 2009 is going to be about. I'm making nice and I am tearing down walls with the demons that have decided to manifest an unecessary and unhealthy hatred in my heart. Forgive does sound good... my forgiveness may not mean a thing to him and he may never know I have forgiven him but I know. My heart knows. My heart knows the difference between bitterness and peace. She may never know the damage she has caused and expecting her to undo it is impossible. It's my cross to bear and I may be better for it. And they may never know they were the source of all these razors in my mind but I will lay it to rest because I'm ready to make nice. I need to make nice. I don't have to be invincible, the world is not mine to save. Vulnerability doesn't make me weak, it makes me teachable. Being mad has eaten at me for so long and I've missed out on a lot of living. I want to live and it's not too late. And the fact of the matter is that I truely don't have time to go round and round and round... so I won't. No justification. No compromise. Just forgiveness.
